New Years' Resolutions

A new year is synonymous with resolutions- and mostly unkept ones at that.

In honour of this tradition- I present my New Years' Resolutions for 2007. ( G- please let me know if this is correct use of an apostrophe- I think it's correct??)

In order to reduce the amount of self-created stress in my life, I will re-assess many of the things that I do and things that I have. Anything that I do or possess simply because I always have, shall be fair game and I will seriously consider dumping them in order to declutter my life.

I will be more conscious of what I say and how I say things. There's a bit too much "mom-ness" coming out of me lately and I don't like it one bit. I will think "hmmm - if someone said that to me, how would it make me feel?"

I will spend less time getting organised to do something and just jump into it. I don't really need to know all the details before I start--do I?!

I will slack less and work more- I will earn my pleasures rather than continually indulge myself in my books, music, lethargy... (fill in the appropriate pleasure).

-On that note, I'd better get back to doing something I should be doing (sleeping or something). So- what are your resolutions for the new year?

The Twelve Days of Rooks-mas...

I don't do much with LJ, I thought this was really funny...

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the_rook sent to me...

Twelve funknevils drumming

Eleven binarykittens piping

Ten xaqxenophiles a-leaping

Nine padredons dancing

Eight haunting_loves a-milking

Seven thunderhowls a-swimming

Six lordgrymms a-gaming

Five tro-o-o-oubleinchinas

Four superheroes

Three comics

Two queer politics

...and a discordianism in an information theory.

Get your own Twelve Days:

Merry Christmas!

Just wishing you all a wonderful Christmas filled with family and friends. I hope that none of you have to venture near a mall tomorrow- I pity you, if you do have to brave the crowds.

Remember to play nice in the sandbox with everyone else- ok?

Being snarky won't help improve the situation- but a good joke will!

For those of you that have to travel this Christmas - I hope that the roads and skies are clear and that your journeys are uneventful. May your family be less crazy than last time you got together (or more crazy, depending on how you like it...).

Have a good one!

Borrowed...not stolen - there is a difference!

I hardly read any Sci-fi but I still thought this would be fun. I borrowed it from my friend The Rook.

I am: Arthur C. Clarke Well known for nonfiction science writing and for early promotion of the effort toward space travel, his fiction was often grand and visionary.

Which science fiction writer are you?

So what if I'm crazy...who isn't?

Alright, I finished the bracelet and I don't completely dislike how it turned out.




But really, what the hell was I thinking?


Oh yeah, I remember now....

"It would be fun to make this nifty bracelet by hand-setting 225 tiny mosaic tiles, not once but twice (because I messed up the first time through) on a leather strap?"

Unfortunately, I don't seem to have an internal critic to talk me out of these things until I've already started a project.

Then the usual conversation goes something like this:

IC: What are you doing?

MMI: I'm making this lovely bracelet for a friend! Isn't it going to be great?

IC: You're kidding right? When did you come up with this insane idea? Are you nuts? Never mind, I already know the answer to that one...

MMI: What? What's wrong with my idea? You never like anything I want to do!

IC: That's because you do insane things and pretend that they are fun, you nut-case!

MMI: F_ off!

IC: You're only getting mad because you know I'm right...

MMI: ...yes, but...

IC: But what?

MMI: But do you have to be such an ass about it?

The mayfly challenge

Being succinct has never been my forte - but I am getting better. School is teaching me to read and follow directions and either (A) right succinctly, or (B) get all the little niggly details just right. To help you follow along with my wonky train of thought...A friend of mine brought up the Mayfly Project on his blog and the concept intrigues me and scares me - all at the same time.

You see- you have to be able to sum up the last 12 months of your life in 24 words or less.

I'm intrigued because it is such a interesting challenge to be able to cram the life you've lived into 24 words or less.

I'm scared because if it's a cake walk for me, then my life truly is as boring as I suspected it was...

Well, I'm off on another tangent now... I'm making a bracelet with teeny, tiny mosaic tiles as a friends' Christmas present. This is attempt #2, as during the first attempt (at 1 am, mind you), I applied glue to the wrong side of the leather strap. I also discovered (too late) that the glue was too thick and it shmooshed all the tiles out of place.

Have you ever tried to wash glue off of mosaic tiles that are this tiny??



I doubt any of you are dumb enough to attempt such task...

If you are, you have my sympathy...









Oh, here's a picture of Chewie that I took yesterday...


isn't he big? And so unlike a stupid, mosaic tile from hell.

On the importance of pianos...

I took piano lessons starting in grade 1 at the age of 5. However, I convinced my Mom that I already had enough on my plate with swimming, Brownies and gymnastics so we postponed piano until grade 3 (age 7). Mom wanted me to learn to play so it wasn't really an option but I didn't have to learn the Royal Conservatory way. I took lessons until the end of grade 9 at school and then stopped. I was never very good at it, but I enjoyed it. Although I was better at avoiding playing than actually playing piano, I still have a soft spot for one. A couple of years ago I set my eye on an electric baby grand at Costco and I was smitten for about 6 months. I had no idea what I would do with it, where it would live or why I wanted it but I did want it in my life. I eventually got a grip and went on with my boring old life but still the thought still lingered...

The idea has resurfaced again because:

A) it's Christmas and

B) My friend Gayleen just had the piano she learned to play on shipped from SK as a Christmas present from her parents

Part of me is DYING to go over there and plunk away at the ivory's on her piano. Another part of me is cowering in fear because I am really not a good piano player. I wish I could play like my maternal grandmother... she could sit down, play & sing for hours, all of these fantastic old songs from the 30's and 40's. But that's not me...

Piano is the only reason why my little hands have the finger spread they do--8" from tip of my thumb to tip of my pinkie finger (= an octave and 1 key--2 keys if I stretched them out some more). Even the House Spouse's mitts can't spread that far. I'm not sure what other purpose it could have but it is handy when measuring pants on a rack for size.

So I did get a few good things out of it. I could read music already when I started playing clarinet in junior high. I have a sense of timing and pitch but don't overwhelm me or I lose it really quick. In high school, I picked up tenor sax and percussion fairly easily as a result of the piano lessons. But I was never very good at any of it. Funny that I miss it all though - very strange indeed.

So, is there anything from your childhood that you miss for no good reason?

Cheezy Meme

Thanks to my sibling for this gem! It's not at all accurate (except for the last line) but it was fun to do!

Welcome Chewie Louie!

It appears that without perpetual entertainment our “fuzzy yellow tank” chews anything within reach. As such I have taken to calling him “Chewie Louie” or “Chewie”. When he outgrows this phase (I pray soon) Chewie will just be short for Chewbacca.
Chewie has a lot of Wookie characteristics: strong and loyal, large and loveable… plus, “George Lucas is said to have borrowed the Russian word собака (Sobaka), which means dog, to name this dog-like character” Wikipedia.
Now, if I could only convince Chewie NOT to satisfy his oral fixation with the industrial strength extension cord for my block heater (wish me luck with that…)

Chewie will be going to obedience classes VERY soon!

Ah, Winter - I SO didn't miss you!

Winter has arrived in full force and therefore I am continually in need of warmth. I was definitely born in the wrong country. Don't get me wrong, I love being Canadian, I just wish that in the 80's we had taken Turks and Caicos up on the idea of becoming a Canadian 'colony' or whatever, so that I could be warm more than 3 days per year.

The labour/grader operator shortage in the city became VERY clear today. It took 2 hours to get home tonight... and an hour and a half of that was the time it took to drive from the U to 142 St. and Yellowhead. At least the Yellowhead after 184 Street was perfectly clear though- those highway snowplow operators rock!

I got back one of the assignments I was really worried from last week. I made a calculated risk with it as I had the option of handing it in on time but incomplete or complete, well written and late. I chose the later which completely paid off - I got over 90% even with a 5% deduction for being a day late. I am also less worried about my presentation in the same subject material now, so that's good!

THE D-O-G still doesn't have a confirmed name. I want to call him something interesting and memorable that will suit him for his entire life. House Spouse wants to name him Dizzy because he walks in circles around us. A he always walks clock-wise, HS also suggested Big Ben (for the clock/clock-wise circling). I'd like to call him Deeogee (emphasis on the 2nd syllable 'o'). No it's not phonetic spelling of a Japanese name, it's just the letters D O G (get it?). I know it's cheesy, but I like it. I also like Tigger, as he tends to jump up and down vertically in the same spot. There are others as well: Louie, Oscar, Pogo, Craic (Irish for fun?) and Canuck ('cause he responds well to Eh!) just to name a few. We'll have it settled soon (I hope).

So...what are you doing to stay warm?

Why I hate being a procrastinator...

I'm not sure why I do this to myself - I do everything EXCEPT what I should be and then panicking to get things done. I don't work well this way- I don't even like pressure, but I do it all the time. I put things off until there is no hope of me ever being even remotely happy with the final product and then I severely underestimate how long it will ACTUALLY take me to do it.

AARRGGHHH!

Ok, I'll get back to work now that I've given myself a kick in the ass...

oopps! One last thing. We have a dog. He has no name. We are working on that. He hasn't destroyed too much (yet) and he hasn't yet eaten a cat. We are happy about all of this-- except the part about his name... He's still revealing new sides of himself everyday so we'll see.

I'm going!...Geez!

OMG - a dog blog?!

My aunt (the wonderful, weird one) found two dogs on the road on Friday night. Both appear to have been struck over the head with the same blunt object and left for dead (I’ll never understand a human who could do that kind of thing-ever!) One dog had died, but the other she managed to rescue from a similar fate. He’s a golden lab about 7 months old in relatively good shape. Although, I’m not really looking for a dog, I have a strange connection between loss of family or a family pet followed by the appearance of a companion animal or a birth in my circle of friends/family. Since my favourite uncle died the day before this lovely animal appeared, I feel drawn to it- perhaps by fate. We haven’t decided 100% if we will be adding the dog to our menagerie, but it would be good for all involved, I’m sure of it. Here’s a picture of the not-so-little guy…


He's got issues (don't we all!) but they are relatively minor. I'll update the blog as soon as we know whether we're going to take him or not.

Whee! ...and here we go into the ditch--sideways!

Around midnight Sunday, H.S. and I were headed home after partaking in a particularily fabulous dinner get-together at G & R's. There were a few people there and Spencer proudly demonstrated his fetch (the vampire) command. The weather was poor when we went into the city for dinner and it had gotten worse by the time we had departed G &R's.

H.S. was driving ('cause I'd been drinking) and about 5 miles from our turn-off as we putted along at about 70kph (in a 110 zone), the backend of the car swung out and headed straight for the median! My man is a fabulous driver and he managed to correct for the sudden "change in demenor" of the car three times.

I was certain he'd pulled it off and just as I said, "Good job! That was impressive!", the backend of the car suddenly swung out a fourth time! (all of this occured while coasting- no gas or brake applied).

"Hang On! We're not done yet!" said H.S. as the car began to slide sideways down the highway heading toward the ditch and a large two post sign! I grasped onto the grab handle above me and gleefully exclaimed, "Wheeee!" as the car hit the ditch passenger side first -forcing the snow up and over the car--whiteing out any chance of seeing what we were about to hit.

The car came to a stop and I looked over at H.S. and said, "that was kind of fun!".

I rolled the passenger side window and looked around... due to the angle of the ditch, we'd missed the sign and the car was actually pointed at the road! I congratulated H.S. on a job well done and thanked him for a wildly entertaining end to a marvelous evening.

After a call to Dad and a good pull from the astrovan, we were once again on asphalt (although it felt more like an NHL rink) and heading toward home.

I guess that I can even enjoy unplanned off-road excursions in ill-equiped vehicles--just so long as no one gets hurt and nothing gets broken!

One other note, Sunday was the 6th anniversary of H.S. & I getting engaged. So atleast we know we can still spice things up a bit! I wouldn't say just yet that this is going to become a regular occurance though!

So, how do you like the upgrades?

So- Whatcha think?

I like it- but I figured I'd also be a nice person and poll the masses for their input (ok, the three people that read my blog). I don't have a fancy header like some, but I like the overall package here none the less. I promise to have more exciting material soon!

Oh, for those who are interested- Sassy is doing fine-although she's a bit lighter than normal. I'm thankful she's back to catching & eating every bug that dares to enter our home. She is the best damn bug patrol ever. You name it, she'll catch it and eat it-- grasshoppers, moths, flies, mosquitoes, millipedes....

I'm currently at the end of the 2nd week of my practicum and I'm having a great time learning all sorts of new things. Even though I normally love school, I'm not so thrilled about the idea of having to go back in 2 weeks. Oh well- at least Christmas is coming!!

One final note: The Angry Sibling turns 29 years old tomorrow. That means I've been a sister for 29 years. Holy cow- I've endured that a lot of chatter from my talkative sibling over that time!
Anyway - Happy Birthday!! I hope you have a great one!

things I learned while making out with a dummy

Not that I recommend going into cardiac arrest, but if you do and I'm nearby- your chances of survival just improved. I'm now certified in CPR level C. Did you know that in only 2% of cases of cardiac arrest, the heart restarts by manual stimulation (CPR compressions) alone? CPR ultimately is just a stop gap to gaining access to advanced medical intervention (ie- a defibrillator). It sure is interesting what you can you learn when you lock lips with a dummy (relax, I used protection!).

I need a kleenex...

No, I'm not sick but I'm a mess and I feel like crap.

Sassy-our cute, quiet cat suddenly became ill so she's been at the vets' ever since Wed afternoon. They don't realy know what the deal is with her but she's not eating or peeing (and I know that being at the vet isn't helping the situation much- she gets stressed easily). On Thursday, a close family friend died of cancer. We knew it was inevitable, but she was doing really well for so long that this is still quite a shock for me. To top it off, my meds are doing very little to keep my ADD in check and my neck is so f'd-up right now that I can hardly move my head without experiencing shooting pains. I am a wreck at the moment. It's a good thing that I'm the only one in this computer lab right now because the keyboard is about to float away in a flash flood.

Somedays I wonder why I get out of bed at all.

Writing is torture - except this time around...

Remember me mentioning in my blog about the essay I wrote for my Psych class last term?
Well, I was finally able to meet with the Prof. a week ago. I wanted to hear his thoughts on some of the points I made and such. We chatted a little at first about the new term and how his classes were going. When I told him I was in Rehab Med this year, he was noticeably disappointed. He told me that with a paper as good as mine, he couldn't understand why I wasn't an honors Psych student!

I was dumbfounded...but thrilled!
I've never been very good at writing, mostly because of the excrutiatingly long time it takes me to write (so this is a very big deal for me). We discussed the research that I based my paper on and some treatments currently undergoing research trials etc. He said that he had actually revised material in two of the courses he teaches because of some of the points I made and the research I cited.
(I am still *squeeing* with excitement that I was able to change the mindset of an already great prof who's been teaching for 25 years! *squeee*- ok - I'm done...ok maybe not *squeee*!!)

Transit Etiquette and other fictious circumstances

Here's an email I sent to a friend because I thought he might need a laugh...

I was wondering if you could help me.

As a seasoned transit patron, would you please instill your great wisdom upon me so that I too can be wise and all-knowing. Thank you in advance – Oh Great One…

1) I am interested in all transit-related etiquette. (oopps…I just realized that perhaps you are not the best person to answer this question).

2) Is it possible to ride the same bus (in the same seat) for 1 hour and twenty minutes without your butt falling asleep?

3) Do you know how to sleep on a bus without (a) getting a really bad crick in the neck (b) sleeping with your mouth open (c) using the stranger beside you as a pillow (d) drooling or a combination of the above?

4) For high speed cornering situations, should I wear a helmet to keep my noggin’ from hitting the window too hard, causing brain damage? (…too late…never-mind…)

5) If I were to miss the last bus of the day (which leaves the U at 5 pm)- can I stay at your house instead of sleeping on a park bench?

Your humble minion,

Me, Myself & I

BTW - when people from "the Grove" get off the bus, either in Edmonton or the Grove... They actually 'thank' the driver as they get off the bus. I don't think I've ever seen any Edmontonians do that (they're too busy with their busy-busy minds). I'm sure at first, the ETS Grove route drivers must have thought it must be something in the water out here... but now that they're used to it, I bet they would be unwilling to transfer from the Grove route to a different one.

It's funny how just the simplest of things can make all the difference in the world.

Queen of the 5 minute or less hair, makeup & wardrobe - gets bent out of shape...

98 classmates, 90% of whom are female...

For some like me who has spent most of her life working in male-dominated professions, spending the next 2 years with the same group of people, most of whom are female is... uhhmm... rather daunting. This may surprise you - but I find a great deal of women rather intimidating (especially young, brilliant, attractive women who have more fashion sense than I will accumulate in a lifetime). We had a class get-together on Friday night at a bar on Whyte and I kid you not, I spent 2 hours getting ready...That's right me, Queen of the 5 minute or less - hair, makeup and wardrobe, got completely bent out of shape because of what a group of girls might think. The House Spouse even started to get concerned that I had a date. I could not have been more flustered about the whole damn thing. As it turns out I got worked up over nothing because I spent most of the time playing pool (poorly) and BS'ing with S., a really good male friend of mine (I asked him to come with- 'cause he's single & I figured his odds for a date were pretty good - & that I'd also be more comfortable with the 'crowd').

Two good things did come out of my brief foray back into the bar-scene...

1) I found one of the guys in class who really likes my idea for a reading group that splits up the readings to individuals, each person condenses them to just the main points and then presents them to the group. Yaaayy! Finally-someone else who has come to their senses about the amount of material we have to get through (and he's really smart too!).

2) My friend S. introduced me to some great music from bands that I hadn't been exposed to before- Panic! at the Disco & Death Cab for Cutie. Wow... I had no idea that there were still bands out there producing music this good.

As for school, I've made friends with most of the guys and few of the girls (most of whom aren't overly fashion-forward) in my class. I'm trying to be less anti-social than normal, 'cause I know that having friends in school I can count on is going to make the difference between going crazy or staying sane with the workload we're all suffering under.

Stay tuned...or not- doesn't matter to me either way.

Update or downdate...You decide.

Alright then, here's the scoop...

Wrote my Physiology final which was horrible-got a lousy mark too! Damn badly written MCQ's! The good news is that regardless of my poor exam performance, my GPA was still more than high enough for admission into OT this fall! (Yippee!!)

---

You know the song Bad, bad Leroy Brown with the lyrics "meaner than a junkyard dog"?
Well I met one at work with what I would call a dissociative personality disorder. I must confess that I was warned to stay away from the dog, but he was so happy to see us (me and a coworker) that I couldn't help myself. I figured if I were to help feed him this would be a good way to get him used to me (This proved to be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had).

All was fine and dandy right up until his bowl of food was on the ground in front of him. My guess is he decided that he wanted an appetizer before his main course...and I was conveniently located just a few feet away...

I must say that it is truly a shame that G was not beside me recording for Orphans as I am sure that my scream was worthy of an Oscar (or at least a Tony). But really, I'm sure even the brawniest of guys would scream if a 140lb dog came after them and clamped down on their hand.

Ultimately the dog did some puncture damage but nothing really major. I've had previous run-ins with obnoxious dogs and know to give them the hand/arm that you aren't going to be punching them in the melon with. And after the shit settled at work, the going joke between me and the guys was that the dog misses me because he found me tasty... I told them too bad 'cause I wasn't wearing a 'BITE ME' sign that day...

---

House Spouse and I went wheeling for the first time since Sept '04. We went with the association we belong to and had a really good time. We only took Yoda as it was too much work to get both the Toy and Yoda ready in time. The Man '0 the House fixed my Flintstone floorboards, and put the 33" tires on. He also put a real CB antenna on (instead of the crappy magna-mount I usually have which tries to jump off regularly). He even tweaked the carb a bit as well as an oil change and he also washed 2 years of leaves and gunk off of Yoda. For his efforts Yoda performed flawlessly, even on a very long 30% incline which would normally drain the float-bowl causing the truck to stall at a very inopportune time. I may post a pic or two later.

---

OT3 Orientation started Tues @ 8:30 am and went until 4 or 4:30 (and yes my brain ached afterward-believe me). There are 99 of us (I think) and the admission GPA was the highest its been in a decade. I'm very thankful that I busted my butt last year! So far I've met some really great people and with no curve to deal with from now on, the collaborative energy of the group has already begun to show. As long as I can keep my head above water, then next 2 years should be very interesting!

I still haven't quite sorted out whether I'm driving or carpooling or taking the commuter bus, and this is really bothering me. It will probably end up being a mish-mash of all three this term anyway.

If anyone knows of a good (read cheap and close to Corbett Hall) place to park- please let me know!

I'm sure my next post will be something like- Holy crap have I got a lot of work to do!

Don't talk to the cat, when using Dragon for a physiology assignment…

'cause this is what you'll get…

......targets the parietal cells and I'm trying to work here, get off prompts them to produce even more HCl yes, I love you now go bug someone else than they normal would in order to counteract the increasing alkalinity of the stomach contents. You know, you're really annoying. As proteins are digested the pH of the stomach hey stop that contents decreases and gastrin secretion is suppressed by the acidity of the stomach contents once the pH of 2 or less is reached. This is my space, go away.

Damn rodent.

Perfect for ADDers, or just those with minute attention spans

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Funny thing is, this profile is more accurate than the one I had to pay for at the Ewe of eh!

BTW, I'll be out waving my freak flag in full force once my final is finished.

Try it for yourself and let me know what yours says!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

T minus 3 days and counting...

So, I've got Sunday, Monday and Tuesday to finish two complete units of physiology AND a 25 question written assignment. The final exam is Wed @ 10 am downtown.

God, why do I do this to myself?

And I wonder why I don't like the work I do sometimes...duh...how about I enjoy setting myself up to never be happy with myself.

NNNNICE................................................

Well, I'd better get back to it (studying). The 'learning by osmosis' theory hasn't worked thus far, probably because I didn't add enough water. (that was for the science geeks out there)


I may apply copious libations after my exam which may render me either (a) very chatty on my blog or (b) unconscious and therefore unable to post.

See you in a few days...

So how would you try to explain this?

For those of you who don't know me well, I like penguins...alot. When my other half came across this news article today I was saddened, but then I thought...



So, how exactly do you explain a collision with a penguin to your insurance company?

Agent: Claims Dept, how may I help you?

Driver: I'd like to file a claim for some collision damage to my vehicle.

Agent: Have you filed a police report?

Driver: Not exactly...

Agent: What do you mean not exactly?

Driver: I hit a penguin on the road, near San Antonio, Texas.

Agent: Uh-huh...

Driver: No really! I HIT A PENGUIN! ON THE ROAD! WITH MY CAR! IN TEXAS!

Agent: And which looney bin are you trying to jerk my chain from?

Driver: I knew when I called, that this was going to happen...

G helps call my inner demon's bluff...

While perusing some of my favorite blogs I came across "The Period of Mourning" post by G, which hit a chord with me.

I now have better understanding of why I procrastinate so much. The pathological perfectionist within me would rather have nothing at all to show for my work than have something that is not exactly what I envisioned. My inner demon paralyzes me or sabotages most of my attemps at completing anything well. And when I do get something done well, my inner perfectionist takes all the credit.

I know that I don't let go of things and I have a great deal of trouble dealing with the loss of even the silliest things (chapstick, favorite pen) let alone the big stuff that really matters. So using G's elegant analogy, if I procrastinate on projects in order to avoid the need to mourn them.--do I really have anything to mourn over at all? Shouldn't I mourn the fact that nothing was created or learned which inherently is the real loss? I wander and wonder...

On that note, boys and girls--it is time for me to spend money on some cognitive therapy...

So...what Arcana Tarot Card are you?

Thanks to Lazarus (a.k.a the Angry Sibling) for the quiz link. You scored as - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world. III - The Empress 94% II - The High Priestess 88% I - Magician 81% XI: Justice 75% IV - The Emperor 75% XIX: The Sun 75% 0 - The Fool 56% XV: The Devil 56% X - Wheel of Fortune 50% XIII: Death 44% XVI: The Tower 44% VI: The Lovers 38% VIII - Strength 19% Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

To control or not to control...

Why is it that once I get something the way I want it, I can't just be happy?

Am I going to fight myself my entire life?

I'm not talking life altering experiences here but they seem to be at the time. Is the world really going to end right now if the dishes aren't done when I want them done or the garbage isn't emptied as soon as it's full?

NO! (disclaimer--it's not likely to anyway).

but I make myself crazy thinking that it will.

I really need to become more like my aunt who is Buddhist and has a better life than I ever will.

I am certainly not going to be at peace with much until I'm at peace with myself, I guess.


In the meantime...here's a nice picture to calm the mind...

I studied today...honest!

Okay, so I didn't get as much studying done as I wanted, but I never do 'cause I expect too much of myself (and those around me). I must say kudos to myself though - I didn't even leave the house, for I knew it would spell disaster for completing any school work. And it was really nice out today too!

I did watch a little TV-about 30mins of TopGear, some of the evening news, half of Enterprise and a full episode of the 44oo. I think I'm going to actually have to rent The 4400 as tonights' episode, Life interupted, hooked me real good.

I did however, finish and submit the 2nd big assignment for my course. I'll start on the last one tomorrow.

Oh crap, it's midnight and I've got to work tomorrow! Time to hurry up and sleep!

My four letters of fame...and other ramblings

Ah yes, Orphans aired tonight and it rocked!

I also realized that technically, I swore on the radio. Even my Angry Sibling hasn't done that (yet) and he's the Angry one! I just thought that was interesting. Hopefully *s*h*i*t* won't be my claim to fame (I kinda doubt it will be). I have so much more to offer besides being a bit of an Alberta red-neck girl who owns too many vehicles--I also enjoy expensive wine :)

House Spouse listened with me on the internet as CJSR doesn't have the wattage to reach us out in the boonies (plus the antenna on my stereo sucks--it wanders on and off station while I walk around the house). He liked what he heard and he said he knows why I like Orphans so much--because it works the same way my mind does--racing in several directions at once. He didn't *get* a fair amount of the stuff going on during the episode though. Now I know he uses VERY little mental power to infer things from a conversation, and I have to speak VERY clearly and literally to get any point across. For some reason, he doesn't believe that the listener should have to do any work at all-- the speaker should do it all for him. I think this attitude comes from watching too much TV, but I must begrudingly admit that he does have a small point.

I remember that I had a record as a kid (yes, I said record...for a record player...get over it) that was about Wonderwoman (is this supposed to be one word?). Anyway, it came with its own full colour comic book that mirrored the story. I remember that more often than not I would listen to the record without even glancing at the comic because the narration and transitional sound effects were such that I knew exactly where the story was going. I had all the audio cues to prompt me and get my brain going in the right direction. Orphans is a learning experience for ALL involved--including the listeners. So clean out the earwax people, and prepare to actively listen -- I know that once you get the hang of it, as the story progresses you'll like what you hear as well as what you'll see in your minds eye.

Extra! Extra! Read/Hear all about it!

I've been conditionally accepted into Rehab Medicine! This should clearly make me very happy, as I've been working towards this for over a year. However, as I've been working toward this for more than a year, it is no longer bright and shiny. This is creating huge procrastination problems for me as I'd rather be doing just about anything besides study (the gorgeous weather hasn't helped much either). I've again worked myself into a corner and I'm not sure how to get out of it. I'll figure it out though... I always do.

Orphans, the fiction radio drama I've been involved with is airing episode 1:Look Up in the Sky tonight on CJSR! You can hear it live around 10:20 pm MST over the airwaves or the internet. Or you can download it from here. I knew it was going to be good, but I've been blown away by how it turned out...Ryan and Gayleen have done an amazing job! Kudos! Check out the bios too...I'm sure you'll enjoy them.

Mom and Dad are off again, this time to Ontario for a Coast to Coast reunion and the like. I'm sure when they get back around the end of the month they'll just want to sit still for a while and try to get some resemblance of a routine in their daily lives. They've been nomads for almost a year...

House spouse's parents are coming up for a visit on the 7th until the 14th or so. It'll be nice to see them as we don't get down to visit them as much as we'd like. They are wonderful and I'm not just saying that. I really enjoy their company and we really like staying with them when we go south.

I'm sure there's more stuff I should be writing but I really need to get back to the books *grumble-gripe*

Don't forget to check out Orphans!

Life is good...

Well, its been an interesting few weeks. My parents were set to move into their new house on the 1st, but because of a major screw-up on the part of the builder, the real property report had not been done or submitted to the town for approval. So my parents just got possession on the 20th! In the meantime, Mom and Dad have been living with House Spouse and me. I have enjoyed this thoroughly as we now have a full-time handyman (Dad), as well as a chef and an amazing housekeeper (Mom). Dinner has been ready to eat every night, when I get home from work, for over 2 weeks! I'm really going to miss them when they finally get settled into their new digs, but at least their only a few minutes away.

I mentioned earlier in my blog that I was playing a voice character in Orphans, a local screenplay adapted for audio podcasting. I recorded episodes 1 & 2 back in May, and last weekend, I sat down with 4 other people (including the Angry Sibling) to record episodes 3 & 4. It took about 4 hours to record the sections that my character is in, and I can honestly say that I'm humbled by the talented people who are also lending their voices to this project, as well and G & R who came up with the concept and wrote the screenplay. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to do something this interesting and entertaining.

One particular cast-member has an astonishingly large repertoire of voices...I really hope he never has any dissociative identity issues as it would be nearly impossible to find his normal voice in amongst the many he is capable of! And to top it all off, I had a great time during the recording--I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I am very hopeful that this is only the beginning of great things for Orphans and G & R, as the concept and the writing are fantastic. I fill you in more when the podcast goes live in a few weeks!

School is going reasonably well (but slower than I'd like). I did, however, get a call today from the OT department... I have to call them back tomorrow to find out if this is the call I've been waiting for!

And last but not least, the garden... if you remember I want it to look like Eden, not the Garden of Weeden... and I think I've at least made a dent--take a look for yourself!



So far... so good...

Next week, my 20th anniversary of becoming a teenager (think about it...) :)

Laugh, don't gripe!

There will be no griping about work or my life today.

Just click to see the funniest stand-up routine I've ever seen!



Judson Laipply deserves an award!

I'm the only gainfully employed member of my family...how strange!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while... I forgot how much this working for a living sucks! But I must try to stick it out as I need the cash for school, and I also found out today that I am officially the only member of my family gainfully employed. My darling bro told his boss to stick it today and therefore has put himself out of work. Little bro has always been a little flammatory (ok, so he's easily ignited, but really, once the fire has started, who cares right?), but there is usually a problem that causes my angry siblings' explosions. Well, we'll have to see what happens there...He's coming out tomorrow for a visit, I think.

On another note, my work has been going reasonably well. My language skills however, are beginning to suffer greatly from the constant cursing, yelling and generally demonstrable behavior of the owner and the customers. The other thing is that everything is so loud there, that I am seriously considering wearing earplugs to keep me from going crazy. Is it really necessary to have all the phones ringing on their loudest setting, while the radios are also on high volume? There's also the loud dot matrix invoice printers that I sit beside all day. I tell ya, between my exceptionally sensitive hearing and my ADD, this place is enough to drive me to the nut house and back again!

School is not going so well...as usual I've set superhuman goals for myself and you know what? I didn't meet them- imagine that! I seem to enjoy setting myself up to fail (or at least to seriously flounder). I've got to get back on track. At least the crappy weather around here lately has kept my mind off of the great outdoors (aka gardening).

I've also taken on another project, also this one takes very little time and I thoroughly enjoy myself. I'm play a role in an audio podcast written by a couple of talented local writers. They are friends of my Angry Sibling, whom I had heard of and contacted for an 'audition'. I expected nothing going in except a chance to see how they do things, but I ended up with a leading role! I was as shocked as anyone, well except for Angry Sib who had no idea I'd even tried out, let alone had any interest in this sort of thing. In the first script, I had a terribly demanding role that consumed hours of time...my characters' dialogue was "SHIT"! Yes, that was all my character said, one "SHIT". Boy, that was a hard one to master. I'll write more later once I've asked for permission to link to their site.

How I get my shopping fix without breaking the bank.

I'll admit that I like to spend money. I enjoy the thrill of the purchase more than the actual product itself at times. When I was making good coin, I rarely watched what I spent on things. Now that I'm a starving student, I have to pay much more attention to the money I spend. The problem is that I still crave the shopping! Well, today I got my fix at Superstore, and this is what I got...

Not bad for $0.44 eh? I think it's fun-but MH is likely to thieve it from me when she sees it. At that price-even the House Spouse has nothing to gripe about!
Anyway I'd better get back to studying before I get any farther behind than I already am!

What I shouldn't have been doing today...

So this is roughly what are backyard looks like, although I have started a perennail garden roughly where the mound of dead grass is. I should have spent my time studying today but instead I spent about 5 hours figuring out what perennials I have,what I don't have and what I want as wellas a rough map of the area (14'x18'). I also managed to rake a large portion of the back, and I also set up a make-shift cold frame.The problem is now that I've started to putter, the harder it is to stop! The picture below is what I would like the yard to look like.

Yes, I know- this is a pipe dream, but hey, you've got to start somewhere! This is only part of a friends' garden that I would love to transplant to our place. I took this picture last July - is this place gorgeous or what!

Today, technology was NOT my friend.

Today was my second day on the job (1st day with the owner present), and the computer I was using crashed 5 times. The owner thought it was because I was doing something wrong--(I can be stubborn and spacey, but I'm certainly not slow). I basically spent the entire day trying to enter parts into the system, over and over, because every time the computer crashed, I lost all of my work! By the end of the day I was afraid to touch the damn thing because I knew it was making me look like a complete moron. The tech guy said it wasn't something I did because there were no error codes, and the system works fine on his end, even though it appeared to be locked up on our end. I hope it acts up for the owner this evening so he can see that it really wasn't me! At least I don't work again until Wednesday, so I can hopefully get over my computer-phobia.

All work and no play makes me cranky a.k.a. I'd almost rather sell a kidney...

NOTE: if this post is a bit scrambled I apologize...I forgot to take my meds this morning which means that my ADD and me were not on the best of terms today. I know--not the best way to start a new job, but hey, I showed up early, stayed the whole day and didn't piss anyone off!

So, I've left my job at the greenhouse which makes me sad...I really enjoy it there. The problem is that she can't afford to pay me what I need to go to school in the fall and put some $$ in the bank for stuff besides school (books, gas, insurance, food, mortgage payments, etc). So I started work at a local wreckers which pays 50% more to start and possible double or better within 30 days. The greenhouse was way closer to home (less than 6km) versus the auto place which is about 20km, but I was spending $ on plants and other stuff. At the greenhouse, people are happy and smiling and generally pleased to be there--spending money; it smells nice and there are all sorts of pretty things to look at and touch...the auto place just isn't like that. I'll let you know how things are going though. The owner of the greenhouse is betting that I'll last a week at the other place - and she'll gladly have me back.

By the way, I forgot how much I despise cheap, miserable people with busted cars.

I'll give it a try-but with the smokers, the filthy front office, and loads of other weird crap- I'd almost rather sell a kidney than work there.

Everyone needs a room like this...

If everyone had a room like this, there would be less hostility towards one another. I also think the world would be a much happier place if all of us stupid adults would get off our high horses and remember to live life, not just exist. It's not all about the perfect looking life or house or family...it about actually BEING HAPPY! So I declare that everyone should have a space invaders room!

Ah, to be a kid again...Intellivision, Atari, and Pac-man. Who needs XBOX 360 anyway?

Cheaters, cheaters, pumpkin eaters...

Sad but true...after reading this, I can honestly say that humanity just got a little more like our knuckle dragging club swinging predecessors. I know that I don't write all that well, but I could NEVER stoop this low. I used to think that University was all about learning how to bend the rules but PAYING someone to write your paper is not only playing by different rules, its playing an entirely different game and the ref is MIA. I guess it is true that post secondary education is elitist...and I'm just a pauper who writes her own papers. I hope that this creep and all the bastards that felt it was beneath them to write their own papers get salmonella poisoning from all the pumpkin they've eaten. The lazy, arrogant bastards probably paid someone to spoon-feed them, too...

Spring - is it really here?

Sunrise-waiting for spring

I'm not going to say that it's here yet because we usually get snowed on again in April. I hope the nice weather holds for a while because I'm itching to get on my motorcycle for some reason. I don't usually even start to think about it until the streets are clean in May, but for some reason I really want to be out riding. I guess as long as summer isn't as crappy as it was last year I can wait a little longer... I guess... if I have to.

I went into my old place of employment today for a visit. I guess I still feel welcome there, but the tension is so thick there, you can cut it with a knife. I sure do miss working with my friends, but you couldn't pay me enough money to go back - not in a million years. Been there, done that and I'm glad I took the plunge and moved on. I am however going out for drinks/dinner with one of the guys next week. He's a good friend and I enjoy his company, and he says he enjoys going out with me because we can drink and B.S. for hours without any strings attached. I like that, and we have always have a great time. This time I think I'll try to arrange it so I don't have to go to school the next day though. We polished off a bottle of wine and I think he also had 2 beer when we went out in Feb and as you know that fills my alcohol quote for a good 3 months!

Guess what... even though I didn't read most of the chapter for my last Abnormal Psych midterm, I still managed 70%! I'm guessing that if I get through the next for chapter for the final and write a kickass essay, I'll be set!

By the way, my essay is on Sex. It's always a great topic!

Now that I've sat here and blogged for a while, I'd getter get off my ass and start writing that essay!

An unusual experience...

It is 7:29 pm on Monday March 27th, and I have not slept since I rolled out of bed on Sunday at 9:00 am. The wierd thing is that I didn't go to bed Sunday night because I wasn't tired, so I put in some serious effort on an already reasonable essay by 8:00 am this morning, I still wasn't tired, or hungry or anything.
VERY wierd.

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that I'm experiencing my first manic episode. You know I did tour Alberta Hospital Edmonton with my Psych class on Friday... perhaps this is just empathetic insomnia. And since I don't handle caffeine well I avoid it except for chocolate....mmm... chocolate... therefore that wasn't the cause. I have a massive problem though... I have a midterm tomorrow morning that I need to put some serious cram time into, but I also need to be conscious in order to get through it.

What to do? What to do!

I'm finally beginning to feel a bit fatigued, but nowhere near as bad as I should feel. I should be either extremely irritable and barely maintaining consciousness, or I should have gotten in 2 hours of sleep already. I really hope this little stint as an insomniac doesn't bite me in the ass. Only time will tell I guess. Wish me luck--or a really fantanstic sleep while I learn by osmosis!

Double Major? A shiny new distraction from my current reality.

Today after class, I briefly spoke to my prof about my term paper topic. He mentioned that he has a class called the psychology of sex that might be of interest to me. I told him that I would see if I could squeeze it into my schedule next year. When he found out that I already had the prereqs, he said that I was the type of person he would really like to see in this class... Maybe I should consider a double major? Hmmm... very interesting... but I won't spend too much thinking about it until after my term papers are done, or I'll squander a whack of time on the NEW bright and shiny instead of the current not so shiny task of getting really good grades in the 3 courses I'm currently taking. Ah, the joys of being ADD.

It's time for bed.

It's way past my bedtime so this post will be short. I'll blog more tomorrow after I've finished writing my SOC presentation and talked to Laz. I'm fairly happy with what I've got so far for my pres. D even thinks parts of it sound like something Stewart McLean would write for the Vinyl Cafe. I might even include some excerpts here when I'm done with it tomorrow.

A confession from a control freak and other ramblings

Why is it that once I get something the way I want it, I can't just be happy? Am I going to fight myself my entire life? I'm not talking about life altering events here but they seem to be all consuming at the time. Is the world going to end if the dishes aren't done when I want them done or the garbage isn't emptied as soon as it's full - No - but I make myself crazy thinking that it will. I really need to become more like my aunt who is Buddhist and has a better life than I ever will. I am certainly not going to be at peace with muchof anything in life until I'm at peace with myself. It sounds so easy...if it only were so easy.

On a completely different subject...

I have a meeting to attend this coming week in which myself and a fellow user as "acting reps" expect to receive the brunt of the negative feedback over some gate vandalism that has taken place in the backcountry. From previous encounters, it has been gang up on the newcomer or the most visible minority in order to deflect responsibility or something worse.

I hope to help those who would point fingers at us realize that they are simply creating more conflict at the expense of their cause and ours. We have a common adversary – STUPIDITY. I'm getting a little fed up with being labeled a "bad guy" for no reason other than I drive a truck off-road. What they are attempting to do is no different than any other form of discrimination. Being anti-truck is no different than being anti-black, anti-gay or anti-Semitic; it is still just discrimination solely on the basis of a specific trait or characteristic. Just as they know not to generalize that all teenagers are bad they should also know not to paint us all with the same brush.

Now that I have had my little rant I'll attempt to make what I've said palatable and politically correct for a less than ideal audience. Mind you, if the audience was ideal, then I wouldn't need to say anything because they'd have the same view as me...so in fact I'm better off with the audience I'll have for the meeting because I have a chance at changing a few minds. Very interesting.

So... should I wear a skirt just to throw the finger-pointers off just that much more? It isn't something I would normally wear but if it would help push things off balance just enough for them to at least listen to what I have to say, it might just be worth the hassle of shaving and putting on pantyhose.

It better not be -30 that day or I'll be in true fighting form. Don't mess with a woman who has braved bare legs on a day like that... you are just asking for it. You know it has been a while since I've needed my "scorching stare". I'm sure it still works, it just might work more like wall of fire than a targeted flame.